Help using Be My Parent

Do also check out our sections on using Be My Parent and your questions about adoption or fostering, as well as frequently asked questions from agencies.

What’s the difference between the Be My Parent website and the newspaper?
Once I’ve subscribed to the website, will I be able to see all the profiles on it?
Why do I see the same ‘faces’ appearing in the newspaper and on the website?
Why is there an area for CRB-checked families only?
Why can’t I log in?
Can I change my password?
Can I change my email address?
What if I forget my password?
Why can’t I see any children’s profiles?
Why can’t I find the profile of a child I've seen in the Be My Parent newspaper?
I saw a child in the previous issue/on the website yesterday who I meant to enquire about, and now they’re not in this month’s issue/on the website. Does this mean they’ve been matched?
I phoned up about a child and you said they were on the "reserve list": what does this mean
How does the matching function work?
Can agencies/social workers see my supporting statement?
Will you let me know when my subscription is about to expire?
How often are the profiles updated?
How do I enquire about children?
I’ve made an enquiry about a child on the website and now I can no longer find it. Does it mean the child has been matched?
We’ve seen a child in Be My Parent who we would like to permanently foster. Would the fostering allowance be paid through our agency, or would it be different?

What’s the difference between the Be My Parent website and the newspaper?

Social workers choose to refer children to either just the newspaper, just the website, or to both services. Their decision may be based on financial constraints or personal choice. Most social workers choose to feature children in both services, meaning that most children, though not all, are both in the newspaper and also online, but some children will only appear in the newspaper and others only on the website.

When looking at profiles in the newspaper, you can tell which children are also online by looking for the computer mouse icon at the bottom of their profile. If they don’t have the icon, then they’re not online! Web profiles are often more detailed, with extra photos, glossary links to social work and medical terms and, in some cases, a video clip, which really brings a child to life.

Profiles appear on the website a few weeks before the paper comes out, normally in the second week of each calendar month (meaning that, at this time of the month, there is the highest number of profiles online). Web subscribers therefore get a first look at new profiles. This is because it takes more time to produce the newspaper: the pages need to be laid out, checked and proofread, then the paper will be printed and distributed. If a child is referred to the website only, we are not tied to newspaper deadlines, and these web profiles can be added at anytime. It is therefore worth checking throughout the month.

The choice of whether to subscribe to the newspaper or the website or both is entirely yours! If you want to make sure you can view the profiles of all children in Be My Parent, it is worth subscribing to both services (though some profiles are only accessible to families who have a confirmed police check, see FAQ below). Some people prefer to just receive the newspaper and enquire over the phone via Be My Parent, while others prefer viewing the longer profiles on the website, and make enquiries online in their own time.

Discounts are available if you subscribe to both the website and newspaper at the same time. You can do this online, or by calling us. If you already subscribe to the newspaper or to the website only, and want to subscribe to the other, you can “top up” your subscription by calling us on 020 7421 2666. It works out more cheaply than taking out a new subscription so it’s worth it! Why not try it out for a month?

Once I’ve subscribed to the website, will I be able to see all the profiles on it?

There are three areas to the Be My Parent website: the first is the open area, which anyone can access to see very limited profiles and pictures of some of the children featured on the website, as well as useful information on adoption and fostering, a glossary, feature articles, and much more. These short profiles give you an idea of what sort of children may be available to adopt or permanently foster, and you may then decide to subscribe to read more. The second area is open to paying subscribers only. Here, you will be able to see longer profiles and sometimes video clips for most of the children – but not all. The remaining children’s profiles will be in the third area, at their agencies’ request, and only accessible to families who have had a satisfactory police check (also known as a Criminal Records Bureau [CRB] check in England and Wales) with their agency. When you subscribe to our online service, you can provide your agency and social worker’s details. We will then contact them to confirm your police check status, usually within seven days of your subscribing. Once this has been done, an email will go out to you: the next time you log in, you will automatically see the children from this third, more secure area. If you have not heard back from us within seven days, you might want to contact your social worker and ask them to email us directly to verify your police check status. If you become police checked while your subscription is running, remember to let us know so we can change your status after verifying this with your agency. However, you do not need to be an approved carer to subscribe to the online service and enquire about children. You will still be able to see most of the children on the site.

Why do I see the same ‘faces’ appearing in the newspaper and on the website?

Many social workers refer children to both the Be My Parent newspaper and Be My Parent online, so if you subscribe to both services, you may inevitably notice a crossover.

However, some children are referred to just one of our two services, so it is still worth subscribing to both. Children’s profiles on the website go ‘live’ sooner than they appear in the newspaper, as this takes more time to produce: the pages need to be laid out, checked and proofread, then the paper printed and distributed. Online profiles also tend to be longer and more detailed, as there isn’t an issue of space. This can mean extra photographs, and, in some cases, a video clip, all of which helps bring a child to life. You can also make enquiries directly to the social worker, without having to contact us first.

However, some people prefer to receive the newspaper as they can physically look through the pages, and go back to its contents at their leisure. It really is a matter of personal choice, for both families and agencies.

Why is there an area for CRB-checked families only?

Sometimes, children’s details are particularly sensitive; for example, when the situation of the child coming into care is extreme, e.g. a death of a parent in criminal circumstances, or a very hostile reaction from a birth family to a child's removal. In such instances, the child’s profile will only be viewable by those Be My Parent subscribers who are approved to adopt or foster, or who are waiting to be approved but have been CRB (Criminal Records Bureau)-checked by their agency. Be My Parent will contact the relevant adoption or fostering agencies to confirm this, usually within seven days of your subscribing. Once this has been done, an email will go out to you: the next time you log in you will automatically see the children from this third, more secure area.

We only accept CRB checks that have been carried out through the adoption or fostering agency that assessed/are assessing you. We do not accept checks carried out by your place of employment, for example if you are a teacher or a nurse.

Remember, you do not need to be an approved carer to subscribe to the online service and enquire about children.

Why can’t I log in?

If you are having problems logging in, please make sure you are entering your email address and password correctly. Remember your password is case sensitive.

If you have forgotten your password, you can request a new one on the site login page. When you log in you can change your password to something more memorable, if you wish.

Can I change my password?

Yes. When you log in you can change your password in the My Profile section on the left-hand menu. Remember to keep your password safe.

Can I change my email address?

Yes. When you log in you can change your email address in the My Profile/Edit Profile section on the left-hand menu. Just change your email address in Log In Details and then press Save.

What if I forget my password?

If you have forgotten your password, you can request a new one on the site login page. When you log in you can change your password to something more memorable, if you wish.

Why can’t I see any children’s profiles?

You must be a subscriber to see the full children’s profiles. If you cannot see any children’s profiles, perhaps your subscription payment did not go through correctly. We should have contacted you if this is the case. If not, please contact us.

Why can’t I find the profile of a child I've seen in the Be My Parent newspaper?

If the profile in the newspaper has a mouse icon next to it, it means the child is also featured on the website. If you cannot find the child’s profile online it may be in our secure area which only CRB checked families are able to access. If you have an old issue of the newspaper, the child profile may no longer be online.

When children are booked into the paper or on the website by agencies, it can be for one, two or three months, which the social worker will decide. So if a profile no longer appears in Be My Parent, it may simply be that the referral run has come to an end. The social worker may decide to re-refer the child at a later date, or they may not. This isn’t necessarily because the child has been matched. It may be for financial reasons, or because they are exploring other options.

If the child has been withdrawn, and the social worker has confirmed this with us, we will of course let you know. We contact social workers a few months after they have used Be My Parent to find out whether the child has found a family, but we otherwise rely very much on social workers keeping us updated. If we don’t know for certain whether a child has been placed, we always give the social worker’s details anyway, and encourage you to make the call. The social worker will be able to give you much more information about the child’s current situation.

I saw a child in the previous issue/on the website yesterday who I meant to enquire about, and now they’re not in this month’s issue/on the website. Does this mean they’ve been matched?

Not necessarily. When children are booked into the paper or on the website by agencies, it can be for one, two or three months, which the social worker will decide. So if a profile no longer appears in Be My Parent, it may simply be that the referral run has come to an end (this will be at the end of the month for web profiles). The social worker may decide to re-refer the child at a later date, or not. This isn’t necessarily because the child has been matched. It may be for financial reasons, or because they are exploring other options.

Because of the immediacy of web publishing, we can remove children’s profiles from the website as soon as we hear from their social worker that they have been matched – which we obviously cannot do in the newspaper once it has been published. If the child has been withdrawn, and the social worker has confirmed this with us, we will of course let you know. We will also remove the child’s profile from the website immediately. We contact social workers a few months after they have used Be My Parent to find out whether the child has found a family, but we otherwise rely very much on social workers keeping us updated. If we don’t know for certain whether a child has been placed, we always give the social worker’s details anyway, and encourage you to make the call. The social worker will be able to give you much more information about the child’s current situation.

I phoned up about a child and you said they were on the ‘reserve list’: what does this mean?

It will usually mean that a child is very close to being matched, perhaps after having been featured in Be My Parent for a run of three months. Their social worker doesn’t want us to give out their telephone number to families any more, but is keen not to lose any enquiries in case that match doesn’t happen. So, instead, we keep a record of your contact name and number. A monthly enquiries report is sent on to the social worker, and it is up to them to work through the list and respond to each family. Putting a child on a reserve list can also mean that they have had a huge amount of enquiries and the social worker is a bit overwhelmed! They need time to respond to the families, so don’t want their number given out for a while. Or they may be working through a shortlist and prioritising those families at the moment. Sometimes there are confidentiality reasons why a social worker puts a child on the reserve list. But don’t be disheartened if a child you phone up about is on the reserve list, it’s still worth leaving your details!

How does the matching function work?

The matching function uses your ethnicity and religion to match you with children you are best suited for. For example, a 5/5 match means that you and the child share the same ethnicity and religion. This helps social workers identify the most suitable enquiries. We are currently working to refine the matching process to make it more accurate. Please contact us if you have any questions.

Can agencies/social workers see my supporting statement?

Agencies can only see your supporting statement when you make an enquiry about a child featured on the Be My Parent website. To create or amend your supporting statement, go to My Profile on the left-hand menu after you have logged in.

If you wish to be featured in our Family Profiles section, please contact us.

Will you let me know when my subscription is about to expire?

Yes, you will receive an email when your subscription is due to expire.

How often are the profiles updated?

We gather all new profiles together and, once they have been written and approved by the team, make them live at around the same time. This means that in the middle of the month (generally the second week of the month although it does vary) a new lot of profiles go live. In addition, some new profiles are made live outside of this timetable.

One main difference is that website profiles go live before the newspaper is sent out, so website subscribers have an advantage. They can also make enquiries direct to a child's social worker using the online system, without having to call the Be My Parent office.

How do I enquire about children?

There are different ways of enquiring about children, depending on whether you have seen the profile in the Be My Parent newspaper or on Be My Parent online.

I’ve made an enquiry about a child on the website and now I can no longer find it. Does it mean the child has been matched?

When you enquire about a child via our online system, a record of your enquiry is logged in and kept in your account. You can view all the enquiries you have made by clicking on “My enquiries” once you’re logged in. If the record of an enquiry you have made about a child or group of children is no longer there, it doesn’t mean that the child has been matched, but simply that your enquiry has been “archived”. Our system automatically archives enquiries after a while (currently four weeks). You can still view the enquiries you have made by going into “My enquiries” and then clicking on “View archived enquiries”.

We’ve seen a child in Be My Parent who we would like to permanently foster. Would the fostering allowance be paid through our agency, or would it be different?

Firstly, you need to make an initial enquiry to the child’s agency. They will probably want to speak to your social worker to discuss details of your situation, and to provide more information about the child. If you are matched with the child, the child’s agency will pay a fostering allowance to your own foster agency, who will in turn pay you, so it is in effect no different to being matched with a child from your own agency.

If you still can't find what you're looking for, try using the search box in the top right-hand corner. Remember: you can always refer to our site map for a general overview of the website.

Or why not get in touch and we can try to help you?

Last updated: 24 December 09

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